Category: Psychotherapy

Kinda Care Kinda Don’t

First time I saw this saying “Kinda Care  Kinda Don’t” was on a muted pink, white, sage green and rose colored mug sitting on a shelf with several other mugs.

At first glance, the statement on the mug could just be humorous and aloof, yet its message, felt wise and comforting especially during these times in our life when feeling passionate about something has been an unspoken expectation.

Kinda Care Kinda Don’t reminded me of a space without resistance.  A space of letting go. A space of acceptance.

Andy Puddicombe, co-founder of the digital health company Headspace, introduced this concept in his meditation session “Letting Go of Resistance”.  He explains, in this paraphrased quote, that:

“Letting go of resistance is about questioning our default setting (belief system) that life shouldn’t be difficult and should be full of happiness, but life should be exactly like it should be in every given moment.  When we accept that life can be challenging and difficult moments will happen, we suddenly let go of resistance. We accept it with integrity, authenticity, honesty, and knowing that that our perception of that moment will define our experience.”

Kinda Care Kinda Don’t allows us to stay present without tethering thoughts, expectations, or feelings to our experience.

Stay curious. Let go of expectations. You may be surprised how engaged and passionate, not reactive , you’ll feel about what matters to YOU in your life. 

Reasons to Consider Private Pay vs Health Care Insurance

Opinion: Why I Don’t Take Insurance for Mental Health Services

Provide April 1, 2013 by Linda Oxford of Awakening Health

You should have control over your therapy. You and I, in consultation, decide what you are here to work on, how to proceed and when you have achieved your purpose. Insurance companies dictate what they will pay for and how long they will pay. They rely on “evidence based practices” and their estimation of how long it should take for a treatment to “work.” If it takes longer or you require a different treatment, they may or may not allow it, whether or not you are better. Paying for your therapy keeps you in control of your process.

Your privacy is important. When you use insurance to pay for counseling, I must provide the insurer with a diagnosis and reports on your progress. Thus, the confidentiality of the work we do is breached. The diagnosis will stay on your medical record, even if it wasn’t truly warranted (see next point, below). And you may experience what some call diagnosis “blowback,” a future negative consequence of having a diagnosis on your record (like higher premiums, for example).

A diagnosis isn’t always a good thing. People often come to counseling to get help with an issue that they haven’t been able to resolve themselves. These situations are not pathalogical and don’t warrant a diagnosis. When a diagnosis is provided just so the counselor can get paid, it can become one more negative thing with which the client identifies and can actually create another roadblock to getting better. In other words, diagnosis can be harmful to the client and may be unethical.

So even though it may seem more economical and convenient to use insurance for mental health care, you may want to consider the long term and negative consequences as well as the short term benefit.

Holiday Cravings - Self Help

Holidays Cravings

Here is how to answer your cravings after the holidays!

Celebrating food is in abundance during the holiday season. When we indulge in its richness during this season, it can be difficult to break habits that perpetuate the cycle. In order to “get back on track” we often look outside of ourselves to refocus. For example, external influences that motivate us maybe the beginning of new calendar year, returning to our daily work schedule, listening to health-based advertising such as promotions for local gym memberships, and watching others through social media act on their new year’s resolutions.

Creating new habits and reclaiming a path to nurture our soul through self discovery is not about appeasing cravings with instant gratification or external influences. One must be courageous and brave enough to look inward and trust ourselves.

So what is our mind, body and soul really craving?

Pause, breathe, let go. The answer already lies within us. Hold space for yourself. Listen. It is possible to feed your soul with a healthy appetite of your own internal wisdom. By tapping into emotional reflection, intellectual growth, physical well-being and spiritual awareness we can naturally and holistically feel fulfilled! (and even splurge with an extra topping of joyfulness)

Approach Life As You Do The Weather

The weather this February has been a unique month in Michigan. Some days were 60 degrees while hours or days later were 30 degrees with snow. I paused to think what I can learn from nature to help guide me during times in our lives that FEEL uncertain and we experience anxiety. I have come to the conclusion when I reflect on our seasonal weather is that seasons are consistent, temperature is expected, but ultimately the daily experience is unpredictable.

So how can this observation be helpful?

If most people tend to feel most anxious during transition times, such as divorce, “ not feeling good enough,” attempting to try new experiences, job change, a loss or just stepping outside your comfort zone, then why not attempt to approach life as we would experiencing the temperature outside? We are aware that these moments are consistent, expected and the outcome may be unpredictable. Yet we tend to be surprised and anxious when these moments arise.

Why not listen to your inner wisdom of “knowing” and to approach everyday with wonder. Life can FEEL uncertain, but instead of turning away from it, lean in…. use the think about your anxiety as positive energy in our bodies. Just breathe and flow with the adventure! Trust that you can embrace these times toward empowerment and personal growth. Take a moment to view anxiety differently, with gratitude, and take the opportunity each day to ask yourself when you feel anxious: What can learn? How can I grow? And what can I celebrate? These questions were presented to me years ago during a yoga practice and I would like to share this perspective as well.

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